Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Mastering Relationships Part 2

In Mastering Relationships Part 1 we went over a checklist of questions to ask yourself in an effort to help master your relationship with others.  Now that you have hopefully given yourself an assessment and know where your strengths and weaknesses are it is time to build upon this list.
 
Negotiation
 
For a moment think of a relationship as a “negotiation”.  Mastering relationships requires you to keep the “and” in mind.  In other words, How do they get what they want AND you get what you want?  A key tip is to always think of them first.  As I refer to many times, one of my montras and Zig Ziglar quotes, “You can have everything you want in life if you help others get what they want.”  This is not just a montra or quote but a true philosophy of life that when understood, embraced and executed will bring your relationships to a new level of mastery that can only be lived to believed.
 
Is the battle worth fighting?
 
How many times do you find yourself in a battle or argument and before you know it you forget why you were even fighting or arguing in the first place?  So often we feel like we just have to be “right” regardless of any other feelings.  The real question should be do you want to be “right” or happy?  To be “happy” first means you have to not care who is “right”, you are willing to rise above your inclination to have the last word and in essence ask yourself, “Is this even going to matter in a day, a week or a year?”  Grasping this way of thinking helps you grow one step closer to Mastering Relationships because you start to look at yourself and others in a completely different perspective and are able to evaluate what is worth truly standing your ground on and what is better just to rise above, walk away from and live to “fight” another day.
 
Agreements
 
Relationships are not only negotiations and the occasional battles but also about agreements.  A person who has mastered relationships understands that agreements start with complete clarity from the beginning.  Nothing is left vague or misunderstood.  Agreements are often much more powerful when put in writing.  This is very necessary when entering into a business relationship with others.  Mastering a business relationship means that both parties know exactly what is going on and the goal is of the relationship (or partnership).  Occasionally we may jump into agreements that are not even clear to ourselves.  This can become a tremendous hinderance as we cannot expect to be clear with others if we are not even clear with ourselves.
 
Growth
 
Mastering Relationships also require you to surround yourself with people who will help you grow.  Understanding the difference between a relationship that encourages your growth and a “friendship” that hold you back from reaching your greatness.  Knowing the importance of walking away from these relationships, as difficult as it may be at times, shows yet another step toward Mastering Relationships.
 
The circle of growth
 
You need to grow, to grow is to learn, to learn is to teach, to teach is to grow!
 
Get out there and Master the Relationships you have in your personal and professional lives using the checklist, the suggestions and even your own ideas that develop from applying them.
 
 

5 Keys To Success

Treating people with respect wins trust and develops lasting relationships. Here are 5 keys to success.
 
1) Be on time In fact, arrive early for appointments and meetings. Plan time milestones in your daily schedule that tell you when to begin transferring to an appointment. That is, note when you will stop working on a task, begin collecting resource materials, and start traveling. Allow time for delays in travel, especially if driving. Consider: The fastest way to destroy people’s trust in you is to waste their time through lack of planning or communication.
 
2) Communicate with others Answer your phone and return phone calls. Listen carefully and completely when people talk to you. Show an interest in others before telling about yourself. When making phone calls, devote all of your attention to what the other person is saying (instead of time sharing with other tasks, such as checking e-mail or playing computer games). Call others only when you can devote full attention to what the other person is saying. Consider: ignoring people is rude and unprofessional.
 
3) Plan projects For example, always prepare an agenda for meetings. Contact key participants before the meeting to hear their views, solicit suggestions for agenda items, and coach them on how to prepare for the meeting. Send agendas far enough before the meeting so that people have time to prepare. Consider: Bad meetings demonstrate an inability to provide leadership.
 
4) Be courteous Find the good in everyone. Compliment others. Avoid starting or listening to gossip. Never ridicule, insult, or make fun of other people. Use positive words, always speaking about what you want and how you want things to be. Avoid suggesting motives or assigning judgments for other people’s actions and views. Consider: Discourtesy damages all relationships.
 
5) Help others Be a mentor for newcomers. Share ideas. Teach people skills that will help them excel. Work with a spirit of abundance. Seek win/win results. Let others speak first, even on issues where you are an expert. Give first without attaching a receipt for return favors. Consider: Selfish people end up working harder.
 
 

The “Science” and “Art” of Communication Part 2

Common mistakes people make in Communicating
 
1. Not being specific enough
 
It is important to understand that often the biggest mistake you may be making is that you are not clear on what you are trying to achieve. Be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish. Ask yourself this question, “What is it I want my audience to think, feel and /or do?”
 
Keep in mind thinking is intellectual which changes the way they “perceive” things. Feeling is “emotional” and doing is about “taking action”. The best communication should touch on all three: Change how people think, create positive emotion, which in turn leads to positive action. If you find yourself failing in communicating it may not be from a lack of skill set, it may be as simple as you are just being unspecific. You leave it up to your audience to figure out what they want or need when in fact it is up to you, the communicator, to illicit the right response. If your audience does not “get it” you need to take responsibility and not place blame.
 
2. Not investing the effort and doing the hard work
 
We now live in the age of simple, easy and instantaneous. Convenience is nice but too often we forget that those who are really good at what they do are those who invest the effort to learn and develop necessary skills.
 
3. Not having something significant or important to say
 
Hubert Humphries said, “The right to be heard does not always automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” It is easy to write a blog or post something out on the internet but if what your putting out there has no significance or importance it will easily get lost in the noise, clutter and confusion. Your message needs to cut through those things and will affect people and make them care. If people don’t care, they don’t listen regardless of the clarity of the message.
 
Things that you can do RIGHT in Communicating
 
Think of the “C’s” of communicating. Commit these to memory and help yourself be a much more effective communicator.
 
1. CLEAR – Be pinpoint accurate on what you are trying to accomplish.
 
2. CONFIDENT – Believe that your message is important; that you are a good messenger and that your audience is important enough to invest time into communicating with them.
 
3. CONSISTENCE – Consistency is critical because of the amount of uncertainty typically communicated. Therefore sometimes the best tool you have for retention is to repeat your message so many times that the listener could repeat it in their sleep. Samuel Johnson said, “People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.”
 
4. CATCHY – Remember to avoid or penetrate the noise, clutter and confusion. This is the difference between saying, for example, “It’s a really good car” or saying “It’s the ultimate driving machine”, a great example of this “C” from BMW. Even if you don’t own one you know it is “The Ultimate Driving Machine”.
 
5. COMPELLING – Arguably the most important one of all. Remember, you must create positive “emotion” to lead to positive “action”
 
Keep these in mind in order to master the “Science” and “Art” of Communication
 
 

Mastering Relationships Part 1


 
In one of my past articles 10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40 I briefly touched on the importance of Creating Solid Relationships.  I would not like to take that a step further and focus on Mastering Relationships.  This will be Key Tips in bullet point fashion to help you start to Master Relationships.  Take a moment and reflect on the meaning of each point and how it applies to you.  Measure your success with relationships and allow the Key Tips to help you grow where necessary.

  • How can I give more value to the relationships in my life?
  • The quality of life is based on the balance of relationships.
  • All relationships start with “me”. I must love “me” before other can.
  • How do I value my relationships with others?
  • I decide how people treat me.  Do they walk all over me or treat me with respect?
  • I must love myself for who I am and visualize myself in my perfect state.
  • Treat yourself in a perfect way and others will too.
  • Take yourself seriously  and others will too.
  • Keep in mind that often what you don’t like in someone else may also be what you don’t like in yourself.
  • Vibrate on a higher plane.  To notice someone’s negatives, you have to be vibrating negatively yourself.
  • Strive to find something good in everyone.
  • Hold onto your beliefs as to inspire and empower others to do the same.
  • Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have been given in life.
  • Show others how to be in a good relationship with you by being the example you would like them to be.
  • You can attract the people you need to help you achieve your dreams by being the person you want to be.
  • Connect with others on a personal level and then bring them up with your excitement.  also, allow them the bring you up with their’s when necessary.
  • See yourself more exciting, you will become more exciting and attract others
  • Be sure that what you communicate is being carried out by your actions.
  • Communicate to the RIGHT people.

 

This is a short but powerful checklist to help Master Relationships.  Stay tuned for Part 2 as we will build upon this initial checklist to help you Master your relationship with others.

 
 

10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40


 
As I approach my 40th Birthday I started thinking about the things that were important to me.  While it was difficult to do, I was able to pick out a Top 10 Things to Know and Do before you are 40.  These are all simple and practical steps and truthfully can be applicable to any age.  Here we go:
 
1. Know Yourself – When I say “Know Yourself” I am referring to your strengths and weaknesses.  We all have them and just like fingerprints that vary for each one of us.  Knowing your strengths will help yo to know where to focus your efforts and opportunities to excel.  It will help you achieve your goals and attain personal satisfaction.  On the other hand, knowing your weaknesses can be equally if not more beneficial.  When you know your weakness and even more important, willing to admit your weaknesses, you have a foundation for growth.  You can create a list of areas to spend as much time getting better at as you do on the things that come natural.  You can also evaluate if the weakness is something you should avoid and allow others to accomplish.
 
2. Settle Your Family Life – This is mostly for the married couples but truthfully can exist with parents, children or any other relatives.  Recognize issues that may exist, things that are lingering and unaddressed.  It is important to get them out in the open and “handled”.  One thing we are not promised in life is time and once someone is gone the opportunity to set things right goes as well, yet the guilt of not doing so can last forever.  Relationships, especially marriages, require constant work and nurturing.
 
3. Determine Your Priorities – It is said that every seven years we change as people and everything from out tastes, likes & dislikes, ambitions and priorities.  It is vital to keep track of your priorities, write them down and occasionally review them for any changes, additions or subtractions.  This will help you keep focused on what is important and worth giving your time to.
 
4. Develop Your Philosophy – How do you define your life?  What is your vision for your future? It is critical to know what you believe in, what/who you are willing to die for and what things in your life are optional.  Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything”.
 
5. Get Physically Fit – As we get older and absorbed in our careers, goals, lives, etc. one of the areas we often overlook is our health.  This has become a VITAL area for me over the past few years and a journey that in a short time has taught me more about myself than anything before it.  Remember, don’t give up your “health” in an effort to gain “wealth”.  A strong body leads to a strong mind which leads to a strong future.
 
6. Learn Your Trade – Always be a student of your trade.  The day you think you cannot learn anything else  about your trade is the day you need to get out of it.  To be most successful at your trade; learn, earn and return.  the biggest key is to remember to give back more than you receive.
 
7. Pay The Price – Success cannot be accomplished without sacrifice.  You have heard it all, “Nothing in life is easy” “Anything worth having is worth working for” These and similar statements are profound and should not be taken lightly.  Your “ah hah” moment with this one is when you realize and are willing to accept that you may sacrifice and not see success but trust that those who follow will reap the success of your sacrifice.  Some would call it a characteristic of leadership.
 
8. Develop Solid Relationships – In the day and age of social media the word “friend” has a whole new meaning.  Solid relationships are important because life’s greatest experiences involve people.  I have had some of the best times of my life and created unforgettable memories with the guys I have developed solid relationships with, a brotherhood if you will.  Take a moment and review your social media “friends”.  How many do you have a solid relationship with?
 
9. Prepare For The Future – By nature we always want the biggest and best.  This is very prevalent in the Event Industry.  Often we are judged by the equipment we carry, the amount of lights we have, how many songs in our library, etc.  While these things are vital to our craft, in the grand scheme of life how important are they?  Consider living life in such a way that you have options later on when you have played that last song.  Consider purchasing the “second best” and saving the difference for retirement.
 
10. Find Purpose In You Life – True success comes from knowing and executing your purpose in life.  Never stop growing to your maximum potential and continue sewing seeds, even if only others down the line benefit from them.
 
The first Quarter of 2012 has already come to an end and no matter if you are 40, 20 or 60 do a self evaluation of these 10 things and see where you stand with them.  You may find that you need to work on some and also be right where you need to be with others.
 
Remember…You’re either Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting!!!
 
 

Business Partners

Along my journey I have had the honor and privilege to connect with some amazing like-minded individuals and businesses and through our relationships created not just business partners but true life-long friendships.  I know I have not made it to where I have alone and with their guidance, support and encouragement I have been able to achieve far more in my life than I would have ever dreamed possible.  I encourage you to take just a few moments to get to know more about them and even reach out to them and establish a rapport with them as well.  Your life will be blessed by doing so!
 
spiritstrong

 

Richard Collier, Spirit strong

Spirit Strong is a non-profit organization committed to inspiring and empowering challenged athletes and individuals with disabling injuries. Spirit Strong provides fun and educational programs to schools and businesses that address a variety of subjects including disability awareness, anti-bullying, gun violence, health & fitness and more.
 
 
neworld

 

Michael & Dawn Fletcher, Neworld Coaching

We strive to be the #1 Global Coaching Company by providing encouragement and education combined with the necessary tools to help our clients improve their business and personal lives, whereby achieving their desired goal$.
 
 

Life…Find Your Balance

One of my favorite quotes growing up in life is “It is always good to begin with the end in mind.”  We all set goals, we want something more, we want to achieve something more and we have some “end” in mind.  It is great to have goals in mind but as I grow older I have come to realize it is one thing to have an end in mind, and that is important, but it is equally important to enjoy the process along the way.  It is equally important to enjoy the journey along the way!  I think that really defines Life.  While we all have great goals of being successful in our profession or in our health it is important to find the Balance necessary to enjoy the journey…to enjoy Life.
 
balance
 
When I think about my Balance in Life the first thing that comes to mind are the people in it. It really is about the relationships and friendships that I have been blessed to develop over the years and the memories that have been created with those people.  During my journey I have had the honor of building and cultivating relationships that I truly know will last a lifetime.  The best thing about this process is that is it genuine, it is authentic….it is Real!  Balance is the relationships and friendships we cultivate along the journey to a greater Life!
 
The second thing I think about when it comes to Balance are the experiences, the moments. Think a few years back to when the View-Master was a popular toy.  For those who don’t remember, it was red camera like toy that you would put the circle of photos in and when you pulled the handle on the side it would cycle through the photos.   This is the perfect analogy of this process.  You see we don’t remember everything that happens along our journey.  It is almost impossible to remember ever aspect of our day, our week, our year but when you look back from where you are today compared to where you came from it is like looking into your own personal View-Master at images of your experiences and moments that remind you of your Balance.  The key tip here is to make sure your View-Master has the best circle slide show you can have.
 
One of my favorite reminders of Balance is when I meet someone and they share with me that they are experiencing a first.  Their first breakthrough, their first real big goal achieved, their first cruise or even their first home or vehicle purchase.  Whatever they may be, Life is about a succession of moments.
 
Finally, Balance is about the evolution of Life.  as individuals we are built to be achievers.  We have to evolve, we have to be growing.  You know the saying, “If you are not growing, you are dying.”  Balance is about the transformations that happen along the journey.  We are all built to evolve, to transform; it is just in our nature to get better as individuals.  That is a part of the Life process but unfortunately a lot of people somewhere along their journey get stuck.  They forget to focus on their Balance, they forget that they need to evolve, to transform and they need to grow.  Unfortunately this where you will begin to get bored and depressed.
 
Part of our goal is to help you get unstuck and help put you on a path of transformation, a path of evolution and to help you achieve Balance!