It is important to understand that often the biggest mistake you may be making is that you are not clear on what you are trying to achieve. Be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish. Ask yourself this question, “What is it I want my audience to think, feel and /or do?”
Keep in mind thinking is intellectual which changes the way they “perceive” things. Feeling is “emotional” and doing is about “taking action”. The best communication should touch on all three: Change how people think, create positive emotion, which in turn leads to positive action. If you find yourself failing in communicating it may not be from a lack of skill set, it may be as simple as you are just being unspecific. You leave it up to your audience to figure out what they want or need when in fact it is up to you, the communicator, to illicit the right response. If your audience does not “get it” you need to take responsibility and not place blame.
2. Not investing the effort and doing the hard work
We now live in the age of simple, easy and instantaneous. Convenience is nice but too often we forget that those who are really good at what they do are those who invest the effort to learn and develop necessary skills.
3. Not having something significant or important to say
Hubert Humphries said, “The right to be heard does not always automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” It is easy to write a blog or post something out on the internet but if what your putting out there has no significance or importance it will easily get lost in the noise, clutter and confusion. Your message needs to cut through those things and will affect people and make them care. If people don’t care, they don’t listen regardless of the clarity of the message.
Things that you can do RIGHT in Communicating
Think of the “C’s” of communicating. Commit these to memory and help yourself be a much more effective communicator.
1. CLEAR – Be pinpoint accurate on what you are trying to accomplish.
2. CONFIDENT – Believe that your message is important; that you are a good messenger and that your audience is important enough to invest time into communicating with them.
3. CONSISTENCE – Consistency is critical because of the amount of uncertainty typically communicated. Therefore sometimes the best tool you have for retention is to repeat your message so many times that the listener could repeat it in their sleep. Samuel Johnson said, “People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.”
4. CATCHY – Remember to avoid or penetrate the noise, clutter and confusion. This is the difference between saying, for example, “It’s a really good car” or saying “It’s the ultimate driving machine”, a great example of this “C” from BMW. Even if you don’t own one you know it is “The Ultimate Driving Machine”.
5. COMPELLING – Arguably the most important one of all. Remember, you must create positive “emotion” to lead to positive “action”
Keep these in mind in order to master the “Science” and “Art” of Communication
In one of my past articles 10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40 I briefly touched on the importance of Creating Solid Relationships. I would not like to take that a step further and focus on Mastering Relationships. This will be Key Tips in bullet point fashion to help you start to Master Relationships. Take a moment and reflect on the meaning of each point and how it applies to you. Measure your success with relationships and allow the Key Tips to help you grow where necessary.
How can I give more value to the relationships in my life?
The quality of life is based on the balance of relationships.
All relationships start with “me”. I must love “me” before other can.
How do I value my relationships with others?
I decide how people treat me. Do they walk all over me or treat me with respect?
I must love myself for who I am and visualize myself in my perfect state.
Treat yourself in a perfect way and others will too.
Take yourself seriously and others will too.
Keep in mind that often what you don’t like in someone else may also be what you don’t like in yourself.
Vibrate on a higher plane. To notice someone’s negatives, you have to be vibrating negatively yourself.
Strive to find something good in everyone.
Hold onto your beliefs as to inspire and empower others to do the same.
Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have been given in life.
Show others how to be in a good relationship with you by being the example you would like them to be.
You can attract the people you need to help you achieve your dreams by being the person you want to be.
Connect with others on a personal level and then bring them up with your excitement. also, allow them the bring you up with their’s when necessary.
See yourself more exciting, you will become more exciting and attract others
Be sure that what you communicate is being carried out by your actions.
Communicate to the RIGHT people.
This is a short but powerful checklist to help Master Relationships. Stay tuned for Part 2 as we will build upon this initial checklist to help you Master your relationship with others.
As I approach my 40th Birthday I started thinking about the things that were important to me. While it was difficult to do, I was able to pick out a Top 10 Things to Know and Do before 40. These are all simple and practical steps and truthfully can be applicable to any age. Here we go:
1. Know Yourself – When I say “Know Yourself” I am referring to your strengths and weaknesses. We all have them and just like fingerprints that vary for each one of us. Knowing your strengths will help yo to know where to focus your efforts and opportunities to excel. It will help you achieve your goals and attain personal satisfaction. On the other hand, knowing your weaknesses can be equally if not more beneficial. When you know your weakness and even more important, willing to admit your weaknesses, you have a foundation for growth. You can create a list of areas to spend as much time getting better at as you do on the things that come natural. You can also evaluate if the weakness is something you should avoid and allow others to accomplish.
2. Settle Your Family Life – This is mostly for the married couples but truthfully can exist with parents, children or any other relatives. Recognize issues that may exist, things that are lingering and unaddressed. It is important to get them out in the open and “handled”. One thing we are not promised in life is time and once someone is gone the opportunity to set things right goes as well, yet the guilt of not doing so can last forever. Relationships, especially marriages, require constant work and nurturing.
3. Determine Your Priorities – It is said that every seven years we change as people and everything from out tastes, likes & dislikes, ambitions and priorities. It is vital to keep track of your priorities, write them down and occasionally review them for any changes, additions or subtractions. This will help you keep focused on what is important and worth giving your time to.
4. Develop Your Philosophy – How do you define your life? What is your vision for your future? It is critical to know what you believe in, what/who you are willing to die for and what things in your life are optional. Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything”.
5. Get Physically Fit – As we get older and absorbed in our careers, goals, lives, etc. one of the areas we often overlook is our health. This has become a VITAL area for me over the past few years and a journey that in a short time has taught me more about myself than anything before it. Remember, don’t give up your “health” in an effort to gain “wealth”. A strong body leads to a strong mind which leads to a strong future.
6. Learn Your Trade – Always be a student of your trade. The day you think you cannot learn anything else about your trade is the day you need to get out of it. To be most successful at your trade; learn, earn and return. the biggest key is to remember to give back more than you receive.
7. Pay The Price – Success cannot be accomplished without sacrifice. You have heard it all, “Nothing in life is easy” “Anything worth having is worth working for” These and similar statements are profound and should not be taken lightly. Your “ah hah” moment with this one is when you realize and are willing to accept that you may sacrifice and not see success but trust that those who follow will reap the success of your sacrifice. Some would call it a characteristic of leadership.
8. Develop Solid Relationships – In the day and age of social media the word “friend” has a whole new meaning. Solid relationships are important because life’s greatest experiences involve people. I have had some of the best times of my life and created unforgettable memories with the guys I have developed solid relationships with, a brotherhood if you will. Take a moment and review your social media “friends”. How many do you have a solid relationship with?
9. Prepare For The Future – By nature we always want the biggest and best. This is very prevalent in the Event Industry. Often we are judged by the equipment we carry, the amount of lights we have, how many songs in our library, etc. While these things are vital to our craft, in the grand scheme of life how important are they? Consider living life in such a way that you have options later on when you have played that last song. Consider purchasing the “second best” and saving the difference for retirement.
10. Find Purpose In You Life – True success comes from knowing and executing your purpose in life. Never stop growing to your maximum potential and continue sewing seeds, even if only others down the line benefit from them.
The first Quarter of 2012 has already come to an end and no matter if you are 40, 20 or 60 do a self evaluation of these 10 things and see where you stand with them. You may find that you need to work on some and also be right where you need to be with others.
Remember…You’re either Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting!!!
Think of a bottle of wine. Sometimes you can have good wine in a bad bottle. You look at the bottle and it is not that impressive but it tastes wonderful. Sometimes you have a bottle that looks terrific but the wine inside is not so good. The goal in effective communication should be to have both substance and style.
Science is built on practices, rules and procedures while art is more of an inherent creative process. The best communicators will learn to combine the two. They will take the best of each and create an effective outcome. Science without art can make communication seem sterile while art without science can make communication very chaotic. Your goal should be to combine creativity with discipline to create the most favorable outcome.
Let’s look at some examples…
The perfect “right down the middle” would be the late Steve Jobs. People would hang on his every word. That was because he would always couple the good science of technology and products and talk about them in an informative, factual way with his own passion and enthusiasm about the design and end user effectiveness.
A good example of the Science right but the art wrong would be the prototypical college professor that goes on and on, for example the character that Ben Stein played in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. A great example of someone who disseminates the information and then strives for involvement, “Anyone, anyone, anyone?” This individual has the information down but has diminished the impact because of poor delivery and lack of creativity.
A good example of getting the Art right but the science wrong, are those who tend to be very passionate. You find yourself connecting with their enthusiasm but in the find yourself asking, “What was that all about?” You knew they felt strongly about something, you are just not sure what about.
So what is “Winning Communication”?
George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion it has been accomplished.” The potential for bad communication is of great. Especially in the fast paced word of the Internet, mobile devices and busy lives we lead. I remember some years ago my son, as we walked into a restaurant, read a sign on a chalkboard the read “Fish – All You Can Eat”. He looked at me and said, “Oh No! All you can eat is fish???” This is a perfect example of how, even just subtlety, misinterpreting communication one can come to the wrong conclusion.
Therefore, “Winning Communication” can be defined as being heard and understood. For “Winning Communication” to take place your message needs to not only be heard (or read) but the intended effect of that communication also needs to be achieved.
Keep in mind communication is in fact “response you get”. How effective you are communicating is more about what is “heard” than what is “said”. Often times we find ourselves saying, “But this is what I said” but if the person who responded didn’t “get it” then the responsibility of poor communication falls onto the person who said it.
Stay tuned for Part Two when I will share some of the wrong ways to avoid when communicating and the “C”s of communication.
I had a great time with Chad and Ashley at their St. Augustine River House wedding. The weather was a bit gloomy in
the beginning but it turned out to be a beautiful evening. The guests were a blast to hang out with and had the dance floor rocking! Smiley Face Photo Booth was there doing their thing and the guests LOVED IT! The photos were hilarious with all the unique props that only Smiley Face provides. Thank you for an awesome event Chad and Ashley! – David Hanscom
Another successful night at the Casa Monica Hotel! It was almost like deja vu working with the staff of Kris Graham Photography except we were outside by the pool this time in Sultan’s Pavilion . It was a beautiful night, weather was a little cold but beautiful out! It did not take long for Christopher and Lisa’s family & friends to get going. We had a great time under the stars tonight in St. Augustine and the wedding cake was one of the coolest I have ever seen, a scale model of the University of Oklahoma Football Stadium. VERY Cool! Congratulations Christopher and Lisa!!! Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day!
On average, couples that live in or around Jacksonville, FL spend between $17,869 and $29,781! This total is based on the average number of guests estimated between 129 and 143.
A single guest could add between $158 and $193 to the overall cost of your wedding.
On average*, couples that live in or around Jacksonville, FL should expect to pay:
Day of Coordinator ~ between $653 and $1,740+
Full Wedding Planner ~ between $1,925 and $5,132+
Wedding Photographer ~ between $1,382 and $3,376+
Wedding Videographer ~ between $821 and $2,188+
DJ ~ between $554 and $1,478+
Live Band ~ between $1297 and $3,458+
Musician/s, Soloist, or Ensemble ~ between $414 and $1,104+
Dance Lessons ~ between $337 and $898+
Venue & Catering ~ between $7,019 and $11,698+
Ceremony Accessories - between $152 and $406+ (Includes Aisle Runner, Ring Pillow or Box, Unity Candle, etc. but not flowers or decorations.)
Ceremony Location - between $694 and $1,850+
Ceremony Officiator - between $162 and $432+ (Includes Justice of the Peace, Officiant, Ordained Friend, Family Member Pastor, Minister, Rabbi, or Priest.)
Hotel Room for After Reception - between $208 and $554+
Reception Accessories - between $150 and and $400+ (Includes Toasting Flutes, Wedding Cake Topper and Serving Set, etc. but not flowers or decorations.)
Reception Bar Service - between $1,634 and $4,358+
Reception Food Service - between $3,214 and $8,570+
Reception Location - between $1,979 and $5,278+
Reception Rentals - between $1,026 and $2,736+ (Tent, Table, Chairs, Etc.)
Rehearsal Dinner - between $641 and $1,708+
Tips - between $277 and $461+
Wedding Cake - between $286 and $762+
Flowers & Decorations ~ between $1,161 and $1,935 total
Boutonnière or Corsages - between $102 and $272+
Bridal Bouquet - between $106 and $282+
Bridesmaid Bouquets – between $137 and $364+
Ceremony Decorations - between $179 and $476+
Ceremony Flower Arrangements - between $227 and $604+
Flower Girl Flowers - between $65 and $174+
Flower Petals - between $67 and $178+
Reception Decorations - between $218 and $582+
Reception Flower Arrangements - between $264 and $704+
Reception Table Centerpieces - between $278 and $742+
Transportation ~ between $413 and $689 total
Limo Rental - between $362 and $966+
Other Travel - between $313 and $834+
Travel for Guests - between $533 and $888+
Attire & Accessories ~ between $1,073 and $1,789 total
Bride Accessories - between $107 and $286+ (Includes Tiara, Combs, Hair Pins, Garter, Shoes, etc. but not Jewelry.)
Groom Accessories - between $83 and $220+ (Includes Cuff links, Cummerbund, Tie, Pocket Square, Shoes, etc. but not Jewelry)
Suit (purchased For Groom Only) - between $221 and $588+
Suit (rented For Groom Only) - between $107 and $286+
Tuxedo (purchased For Groom Only) – between $380 and $1,012+
Tuxedo (rented For Groom Only) - between $101 and $268
Veil - between $89 and $236+
Wedding Dress - between $784 and $2090+
Wedding Dress Preservation - between $185 and $494+
Beauty, Health & Spa ~ between $241 and $401 total (**For single individual only**)
Hair Service - between $56 and $150+
Makeup Service - between $48 and $128+
Manicure & Pedicure - between $38 and $100+
Gifts & Favors ~ between $439 and $731 total
Gift/s for All Attendants - between $142 and $378+
Gift/s for Parents - between $107 and $284+
Gift/s for the Bride - between $146 and $388+
Gift/s for the Groom - between $136 and $362+
Wedding Favors - between $189 and $504++
Invitations ~ between $437 and $728 total
Ceremony Programs - between $85 and $226
Guest Book - between $46 and $122+
Invitations & Reply Cards - between $197 and $524+
Reception Menus - between $92 and $244+
Save the Date Cards - between $96 and $256+
Table or Place Cards - between $65 and $172+
Thank You Cards - between $73 and $194+
Jewelry ~ between $3,170 and $5,283 total
Earrings – between $99 and $264+
Engagement Ring - between $2,618 and $6,982+
Necklace - between $107 and $284
Other Jewelry - between $212 and $566+(Includes Anklet, Bracelet, watch, etc)
Wedding Band for Bride - between $837 and $2,232+
Wedding Band for Groom - between $570 and $1,520+
Marriage License Information in Jacksonville, FL
County Recorder
330 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, FL 32202
(904) 630-1436
Hours: 9:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. / M – F
Fee: $88.50 (cash only)
Age: 18
ID requirements: Driver license and Social Security card
Residency: None
Blood test: None
Other: None
Who must be present: Both bride and groom together
Who must sign: Bride and groom (Both MUST be present)
Waiting period: 3 days; none for non-residents
Valid for: 60 days
Valid out of city: Yes, but not out of state.
If previously married: Know dates of divorce or death. No documents required.
All information was pulled from www.costofwedding.com Wedding Budget vs Real Wedding Cost
I had a complete BLAST tonight with Bree & Justin’s St. Augustine Wedding. From the minute the first song came on their friends and family were up dancing. The Young to the Young at Heart were all on the dance floor showing off their moves. Everything was held together and executed to perfection, as always by Sarah Grace, and the staff of The Big Event.
The White Room Staff did an amazing job with the food and atmosphere of the room. It was awesome to work with Jay and Alison again from Life and Love Studio Photography and Videography. They are a sweet and I am confident their photos will be excellent. It gives me great pleasure to be a DJ in Jacksonville and St. Augustine and to this disc jockey nothing is more rewarding than an ecstatic couple at the end of the night like Bree & Justin. Thank you guys for letting me be a part of your very special day!
I have been invited to be a guest speaker at the first Eastern Pennsylvania Mobile Entertainers Network (EPMEN) Wedding Marketing and Entertainment Conference May 16th, 2011, in Allentown,Pennsylvania.
The event, sponsored by the National Association of Mobile Entertainers, will feature top name presenters from both the wedding marketing and entertainment industries and cover topics such as effective website design, social media marketing, performance skills, and improved sales techniques. There will also be a separate demonstration room and exhibit hall featuring a wide variety of vendors.
The Keynote Addresses include:
Alan Berg, VP The Knot
Market Intelligence How Do I Know If My Ads Are Working?
Mike Walter, Elite Entertainment
How To Run Your Multi-Op… From the Guy Who Wrote the Book On It!
Additional Conference Speakers Include:
Lorenzo Araneo – Adam Weitz – “Big Daddy” Sean McKee – Jerry Bazata – J. Hatch – Jeff Meuzelaar – Jason Jani – Keith Alan - Jason Weldon – Stacy Zemon – Johnny Rozz – David Hanscom – Mike Wieder
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