It is important to understand that often the biggest mistake you may be making is that you are not clear on what you are trying to achieve. Be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish. Ask yourself this question, “What is it I want my audience to think, feel and /or do?”
Keep in mind thinking is intellectual which changes the way they “perceive” things. Feeling is “emotional” and doing is about “taking action”. The best communication should touch on all three: Change how people think, create positive emotion, which in turn leads to positive action. If you find yourself failing in communicating it may not be from a lack of skill set, it may be as simple as you are just being unspecific. You leave it up to your audience to figure out what they want or need when in fact it is up to you, the communicator, to illicit the right response. If your audience does not “get it” you need to take responsibility and not place blame.
2. Not investing the effort and doing the hard work
We now live in the age of simple, easy and instantaneous. Convenience is nice but too often we forget that those who are really good at what they do are those who invest the effort to learn and develop necessary skills.
3. Not having something significant or important to say
Hubert Humphries said, “The right to be heard does not always automatically include the right to be taken seriously.” It is easy to write a blog or post something out on the internet but if what your putting out there has no significance or importance it will easily get lost in the noise, clutter and confusion. Your message needs to cut through those things and will affect people and make them care. If people don’t care, they don’t listen regardless of the clarity of the message.
Things that you can do RIGHT in Communicating
Think of the “C’s” of communicating. Commit these to memory and help yourself be a much more effective communicator.
1. CLEAR – Be pinpoint accurate on what you are trying to accomplish.
2. CONFIDENT – Believe that your message is important; that you are a good messenger and that your audience is important enough to invest time into communicating with them.
3. CONSISTENCE – Consistency is critical because of the amount of uncertainty typically communicated. Therefore sometimes the best tool you have for retention is to repeat your message so many times that the listener could repeat it in their sleep. Samuel Johnson said, “People need to be reminded more than they need to be instructed.”
4. CATCHY – Remember to avoid or penetrate the noise, clutter and confusion. This is the difference between saying, for example, “It’s a really good car” or saying “It’s the ultimate driving machine”, a great example of this “C” from BMW. Even if you don’t own one you know it is “The Ultimate Driving Machine”.
5. COMPELLING – Arguably the most important one of all. Remember, you must create positive “emotion” to lead to positive “action”
Keep these in mind in order to master the “Science” and “Art” of Communication
In one of my past articles 10 Things you should Know and Do before you are 40 I briefly touched on the importance of Creating Solid Relationships. I would not like to take that a step further and focus on Mastering Relationships. This will be Key Tips in bullet point fashion to help you start to Master Relationships. Take a moment and reflect on the meaning of each point and how it applies to you. Measure your success with relationships and allow the Key Tips to help you grow where necessary.
How can I give more value to the relationships in my life?
The quality of life is based on the balance of relationships.
All relationships start with “me”. I must love “me” before other can.
How do I value my relationships with others?
I decide how people treat me. Do they walk all over me or treat me with respect?
I must love myself for who I am and visualize myself in my perfect state.
Treat yourself in a perfect way and others will too.
Take yourself seriously and others will too.
Keep in mind that often what you don’t like in someone else may also be what you don’t like in yourself.
Vibrate on a higher plane. To notice someone’s negatives, you have to be vibrating negatively yourself.
Strive to find something good in everyone.
Hold onto your beliefs as to inspire and empower others to do the same.
Remember that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have been given in life.
Show others how to be in a good relationship with you by being the example you would like them to be.
You can attract the people you need to help you achieve your dreams by being the person you want to be.
Connect with others on a personal level and then bring them up with your excitement. also, allow them the bring you up with their’s when necessary.
See yourself more exciting, you will become more exciting and attract others
Be sure that what you communicate is being carried out by your actions.
Communicate to the RIGHT people.
This is a short but powerful checklist to help Master Relationships. Stay tuned for Part 2 as we will build upon this initial checklist to help you Master your relationship with others.
Think of a bottle of wine. Sometimes you can have good wine in a bad bottle. You look at the bottle and it is not that impressive but it tastes wonderful. Sometimes you have a bottle that looks terrific but the wine inside is not so good. The goal in effective communication should be to have both substance and style.
Science is built on practices, rules and procedures while art is more of an inherent creative process. The best communicators will learn to combine the two. They will take the best of each and create an effective outcome. Science without art can make communication seem sterile while art without science can make communication very chaotic. Your goal should be to combine creativity with discipline to create the most favorable outcome.
Let’s look at some examples…
The perfect “right down the middle” would be the late Steve Jobs. People would hang on his every word. That was because he would always couple the good science of technology and products and talk about them in an informative, factual way with his own passion and enthusiasm about the design and end user effectiveness.
A good example of the Science right but the art wrong would be the prototypical college professor that goes on and on, for example the character that Ben Stein played in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. A great example of someone who disseminates the information and then strives for involvement, “Anyone, anyone, anyone?” This individual has the information down but has diminished the impact because of poor delivery and lack of creativity.
A good example of getting the Art right but the science wrong, are those who tend to be very passionate. You find yourself connecting with their enthusiasm but in the find yourself asking, “What was that all about?” You knew they felt strongly about something, you are just not sure what about.
So what is “Winning Communication”?
George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion it has been accomplished.” The potential for bad communication is of great. Especially in the fast paced word of the Internet, mobile devices and busy lives we lead. I remember some years ago my son, as we walked into a restaurant, read a sign on a chalkboard the read “Fish – All You Can Eat”. He looked at me and said, “Oh No! All you can eat is fish???” This is a perfect example of how, even just subtlety, misinterpreting communication one can come to the wrong conclusion.
Therefore, “Winning Communication” can be defined as being heard and understood. For “Winning Communication” to take place your message needs to not only be heard (or read) but the intended effect of that communication also needs to be achieved.
Keep in mind communication is in fact “response you get”. How effective you are communicating is more about what is “heard” than what is “said”. Often times we find ourselves saying, “But this is what I said” but if the person who responded didn’t “get it” then the responsibility of poor communication falls onto the person who said it.
Stay tuned for Part Two when I will share some of the wrong ways to avoid when communicating and the “C”s of communication.
In any business a large portion of sales will come from referrals; in the wedding business they are many times responsible for more than half of total sales. When you get a client/customer through a referral they are already motivated to buy from you which by default, should make your sale much easier.
Go to http://neworldcoaching.com/events to save your spot for my presentation “Will Being Abnormal Make You Successful?” on March 18th! Your support will mean a lot to me and hopefully you will take a nugget or two away from it.
Reflections Video Series #7 is a special Holiday Edition featuring my daughter. During the Holidays take time to spend with your family and reflect on all the wonderful things in your lives. Look forward to an amazing future full of success and reward. Happy Holidays to all!!!
David Hanscom’s Reflection Video Series #6 features former NFL Pro Bowl Kicker Mike Hollis. Mike shares his story of achieving success even when you are not sure you have what it takes to make it.
David Hanscom’s Reflections Video Series #2 discusses the three “P’s” to success. They are Passion, Persistence and Patience. Are you applying the three “P’s” to your life?
This is the kick-off to my “Reflections” video series. During this unedited, unscripted video series I will be sharing quotes that have made a huge impression on my life and that I hope will inspire you to attain the goals and dreams in your life.
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Common mistakes people make in Communicating
1. Not being specific enough
It is important to understand that often the biggest mistake you may be making is that you are not clear on what you are trying to achieve. Be very clear about what you are trying to accomplish. Ask yourself this question, ...
In any business a large portion of sales will come from referrals; in the wedding business they are many times responsible for more than half of total sales. When you get a client/customer through a referral they are already motivated to buy from you which by default, should make your ...
The “Science” and “Art” of Communication
Think of a bottle of wine. Sometimes you can have good wine in a bad bottle. You look at the bottle and it is not that impressive but it tastes wonderful. Sometimes you have a bottle that looks terrific but the wine inside is not ...
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