Now that you have some “Do’s” and “Don’ts” let’s work on making sure when you are trying to communicate a message that you are not misunderstood.
The #1 Key is FEEDBACK! Think of feedback as evidence that your audience has heard and understood you. Keep in mind though, someone can hear and repeat your message but still not understand it. Sometimes it may become necessary to explain to your audience as if they were second graders. Reduce it to the irreducible minimums.
There are three modes of communication that are all about focus and important to be aware of as well.
1. Self Centered
Being pre-occupied with yourself… Did the audience like me? How did I sound? Did I look nervous? How was I coming across? This is being self-centered in your communication focus. The problem with this is that you are ignoring both the message and the audience. The focus then is on you.
2. Message Centered
Other times we are confident about ourselves and instead find ourselves over focusing on the message… How is the message being received? Am I getting it just right? Am I using the most appropriate words? Even though it may be better to focus a little more on the message than yourself, you still miss the goal doing this.
3. Listener Centered
The goal is to be focused on the audience, secure in your own abilities and confident in your message so that you can engage your audience and be focused on them.
Think of it this way…A good conversation is never like a speech, but a good speech is always like a good conversation.
Do you find yourself being able to connect with people who speak “to you”? More often than not the best speakers are not self centered or message centered but instead more focused on connecting with their audience. It typically has more of a “conversational” feel, we can relate and we feel like they are talking with us, not to us.
Think about the people you like to spend most of your time with? Why do you think that is? Sure you might like them because they are an old friend or a lot of fun to hang out with but if you were to dig deep enough would you agree it is because you like to hear what they have to say? They encourage, inspire, challenge amuse and entertain you.
Now think about those who you dread meeting with or spending time with because you know it is going to be like watching paint dry or chewing glass, just down right painful. It may not be that you have anything personal against them, you just don’t want anymore of what they “have to sell”.
Be that person that others can’t wait to hear more from. Tell a better story, paint a better picture and pay better attention. Remember when you communicate, people want to be entertained and engaged. Learn from others, study the things they are doing right and wrong. Do not do this to be critical of them but to be constructive for yourself so that you will never stop learning what works and what doesn’t work.
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Have you ever had difficulty keeping a simple commitment to yourself? Sure. Nearly everyone I know has, sometime or another, found him or herself “trapped” wanting to do something yet not acting on their intentions. This can be the biggest hurdle to a true transformation.
So why don’t we do some of the things we want to or know we should, like improving our health and building a better body?
Let’s say you keep putting off that new fitness program. You can even imagine what it might mean to you: having a firm, strong, healthy body; feeling an abundance of energy; newfound confidence and sex appeal… Still, you don’t do it. So why do you keep putting it off? What’s preventing you from taking those first steps?
My observation is that our minds tend to see the obstacles first; those barriers that lie between where we are now and where we want to be or who we want to become. Just as fast as you conceive of achieving your new body, your mind begins to spout out every excuse it can come up with why you can’t attain your goal. So even before we can initiate any action, we literally paralyze ourselves.
And once your head begins to fill with all the obstacles that could potentially keep you from achieving your newfound goal, suddenly your desire to even try is crushed.
But what if all the obstacles were removed?
Think about it for a moment: if whatever deterred you from attempting to build your very best body suddenly vanished, you’d have no fear to stop you, right?
What if I showed you how to take those obstacles and instantly transform them into strategies for achieving success… Would you consider starting, or sticking to, your new (or current) fitness plan then?
The truth is, we can choose to transform those circumstances that oppose us into specific decisions and actions that can lead us to our goals. True empowerment you can use to your advantage!
Let me explain…
The Breakthrough Technique
So how can we break through our fears, smash those barriers, and transform those obstacles into strategies for achieving our fitness goals? It’s really quite simple, allow me to introduce you to the Breakthrough Technique. Here I’ve taken the eight most feared obstacles that potentially stand in the way of your success, followed by a very specific success strategy to blast through them and help you reach your fitness and physique development goals.
Are you ready? Great… let’s get started!
Obstacle #1: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME
Believe or not, individuals who achieve extraordinary levels of success have days just as hectic as ours. They’ve got obligations: commitments to work, friends, and family. And let’s face it, we’re all confined to an equal amount of time, the same 24 hours. Yet some people find the time to continually make exercise a part of their daily routine.
So how do they do it? Simple, they create it. You can instantly create time if you begin to plan, plan, and plan some more. That means planning your days ahead, at least a day in advance, sometimes even a week in advance. One of the best time-creating techniques is to make a list of your daily “to-dos” and schedule when you’re going to exercise. (This is a common challenge, we forget how important it is to schedule an appointment with ourselves to exercise.)
Then divide your “to-dos” into things you must do and things you would like to do, so you’re less likely to confuse urgency with importance. You see, getting to the gym is important, whereas getting your haircut may seem urgent when you’re running late but can certainly be rescheduled. And before you do anything, always ask yourself what you could be doing that would be more productive.
Success Strategy #1: PLAN AHEAD Creating the time you need to exercise is easy! Plan your days in advance by creating action lists of the most important things to accomplish each day.
Obstacle #2: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don’t know what exercises to do to help you get the most out of your workouts? Not sure what to eat, when, to help you put on muscle and shed that unwanted bodyfat? And supplements, well, these can be downright confusing!
That’s all understandable: there are just so many techniques, recommended by so many “fitness experts.” So, whose advice can you trust? It can become paralyzing. So instead of trying to sort through all the (mis)information, stop right now: keep yourself from chasing every exercise theory or latest diet craze. But this doesn’t sound like it will do us any good, does it?
So how do you find the answers? It’s simple, model the success of others. For example, try programs like Body by dub.
The greatest thing about success is that it leaves clues, and if we pay close attention, we can pick up those clues and model the actions and behaviors to produce similar results. Find people, whether in person or in a magazine, who have achieved the type of extraordinary success you wish to achieve, and find out what they did. It’s really as easy as that.
Success Strategy #2: STUDY A SUCCESSFUL FORMULA AND FOLLOW IT Seek someone who has achieved the “extraordinary” results you desire and learn from his or her “winning” actions. If you follow a proven approach to exercise, nutrition, and supplementation, you will achieve similar success.
Obstacle #3: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY
Do you wake up every morning feeling energized, powerful, and ready to take on the day? Or do you rise feeling as tired as the night before, resenting that a new day has presented itself so soon? Do you fear your current energy levels would never allow you to participate in a fitness program?
This is a great example of the perceived problem: your lack of energy to exercise, being the ultimate solution. We might believe we’re too exhausted to exercise, but in reality, we lack energy simply because we don’t exercise!
It’s been scientifically proven that incorporating exercise into our lives actually gives us more energy. Moderate levels of exercise can even help us sleep better at night, so we wake up renewed.
How else can you bolster energy levels?
As long as we feed ourselves with properly balanced protein- and carbohydrate-rich meals, we feel an immediate impact on our energy levels. The more closely we keep to our preferred eating strategy, the better we feel, period. Feeding our bodies every two to three hours throughout the day provides us with a stable, constant supply of nutrients required to be more energetic.
Success Strategy #3: GIVE YOUR ENERGY A BOOST Exercise and proper nutrition play a vital role in our energy levels and allow us to perform at peak levels daily.
Obstacle #4: I HATE SETTING GOALS
Goals come from having a clear vision of what you want. Knowing you want to build your very best body is great start, but you need something more than that; a statement so compelling it literally pulls you, like a magnet, in the direction of its achievement.
So, maybe you’re not certain how to set effective goals? If that’s you, then don’t worry, everyone starts off this way… To really set effective fitness goals and ensure you’ll reach them, you’re going to have to learn what I call the S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting technique. Not only will this technique enable you to set the most effective goals, it will help focus your efforts on exactly what you want to achieve.
S.M.A.R.T. stands for:
Specific: you must be specific about what you want to achieve, creating your goal in the present tense. That means using “I am in the process of…” to start your goal statement.
Measurable: how do you measure “better shape” or “slimmer waist”? You can’t. So scale your goal to a specific number (e.g., 10% bodyfat, a 33-inch waist, or a size six).
Action-oriented: you must be able to create an action list of things you must do to achieve success.
Realistic: make certain your goal is realistic yet stretches you, given your expectations and timeframe.
Time-conscience: a date forces us to give it priority and puts positive pressure on you to achieve it.
Success Strategy #4: TRANSFORM YOUR FITNESS GOALS Using the S.M.A.R.T. technique will ensure you’ve set an effective and commanding goal and will not only clarify your path to success but will compel you to achieve it.
Obstacle #5: THERE’S TOO MUCH RISK
The physical transformation that takes place on your outside (your body) is really a metaphor for the mental (inner) transformation that takes place on the inside. You see, not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself.
“…not only should your chosen program change the way you look, it is just as important that it change the way you feel about yourself.” Everytime we purchase the latest miracle pill, workout gadget, or eight-minute solution, we’re just avoiding the process of a true transformation and trying to find a quick fix. This is nothing more than treating the symptoms and not the causes. It does nothing to improve our self-esteem, confidence, or personal power.
Let me share a little secret with you and save you time, money, and frustration: this approach never works. And you’ll never feel a true sense of fulfillment when you try this type of “magic bullet” approach. Unless you start from the inside, you’re sure to find yourself right back where you started, only more disappointed.
We must challenge ourselves to find a solution that involves total balance; a complete solution that integrates some very essential elements, such as proper nutrition and supplementation, cardiovascular and weight-training exercise, and most importantly, strengthening our inner self, our minds.
Your chosen program should help you set commanding goals, transform your old, self-defeating beliefs into new, empowering beliefs, and transform your patterns so you’re continually producing results that take you closer to your goals.
Remember, you can’t transform a lifetime of poor habits in matter of days. It takes time, a couple of months at best. Rest assured, following a solution that allows you to first transform your inside and then your outside is sure plan for long-term success.
Success Strategy #5: FOLLOW AN INSIDE-OUT APPROACH To successfully transform your physique and achieve your fitness goals, follow an approach that focuses first on increasing your self-esteem and building confidence, before you concentrate on your physique, and you’ll more likely be able to create extraordinary results that will last a lifetime.
Obstacle #6: I CAN’T STAY COMMITTED
There’s a huge difference between intentions and action. And the difference is commitment.
Our commitment to our goals leads us to achievement, even during the toughest times. There is a direct relationship between motivation and commitment. And if you’re really committed to making a change now, the only way to make it happen is to create a sense of immediate importance.
You can do this by attaching reasons that are so compelling and so intense you must follow through. So right now, ask yourself the following questions and come up with at least three intensely compelling reasons you must commit to your transformation goals.
What will this cost me if I don’t change right now?
What has this cost me so far, concerning my health, physical condition, self-confidence, and energy levels?
If I do change now, how will I feel about myself?
How will this impact my life?
What will I gain as a result?
Your answers to these questions will help you gain an immediate understanding of what you’re committed to and why!
Success Strategy #6: IDENTIFY YOUR REASONS Clearly state your reasons for wanting to change and make them so compelling you become truly committed to achieving your fitness goals.
Obstacle #7: I LACK THE CONFIDENCE TO SUCCEED
Sometimes the accomplishment of our goals might seem so overwhelming, the immediate temptation is to give up before we even start, which diminishes our self-confidence even further. It’s true. We can’t gain confidence until we take action. Yet, we don’t want to take action until our confidence levels are raised sufficiently. See the “catch”?
Take, for example, the intimidating obstacle of your entire fitness goal needing to be achieved in a giant, single step. Now that’s paralyzing, isn’t it?
“… to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps.” That’s why, to gain confidence, you must break your fitness goal down into measurable steps. For example, if you wanted to lose 12% bodyfat within 12 weeks, then you could realistically set your increments for one percent of bodyfat reduction per week. This way, you don’t have to focus on the whole goal at any given time, nor do you notice all that you have not yet accomplished; instead you can focus entirely on the smaller, manageable steps ahead. This gives you a tremendous sense of control and achievement. Building your confidence, each step of the way.
By the time you are nearing the end of your first couple of weeks of your fitness program, despite the ups and downs in progress, you will begin to feel more confident. You will be determined to advance one more step and make the effort to complete your fitness program and build your very best body.
Suddenly, as the fear dissipates, you will discover newfound confidence. And best of all, you will have achieved what you once thought was impossible, one increment at a time.
Success Strategy #7: MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS Success is accomplished only through measuring your progress, always from where you’re coming from (backwards). This way, you will never lack a sense of accomplishment, and you’ll build your confidence with each and every step.
Obstacle #8: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MOTIVATION
So you need a source of motivation in your life, something to get you out of bed in the morning and carry you through the day?
One way is to continually “see” what you want to become by finding a picture of someone’s physique you would most like to emulate (probably in your favorite fitness magazine), cut it out, and hang it someplace you’re likely to see it over and over again throughout the day. You might even write down your reasons for wanting to achieve this goal with the photo.
By seeing the body you want to achieve in front of you all the time, you’ll be pointing your subconscious toward the realization of these results. This constant source of inspiration is a reminder of where you are going. It’s called bringing focus to the center of your awareness.
Success Strategy #8: FIND AN INSPIRATION Discover your inspiration, someone who has turned his or her body and life from ordinary to extraordinary, and use that as your source of daily fuel. Look for inspiration in Success Stories, such as Jeremy Wardle, Scott Kelley, and April Stull, who have each reached their goals and are now helping others do the same.
Remember, building a better body does not follow an absolute straight line. Life doesn’t work that way. But now that you’ve found the principle of turning literally any obstacle into a stepping stone for your success, you can create the fitness and physique results you so desire.
By committing to turning these once fearful obstacles into powerful success strategies, you will begin to create extraordinary results in your physique and ultimately achieve your fitness goals.
If there are any other obstacles I overlooked, please contact, and I will gladly help you create a success strategy to blast through it.
Let’s start with the foundation of why setting goals is so important in life…
If you think of it from the standpoint of getting into your car and but having nowhere to go. If you didn’t have a job to go to, school to attend or someplace to go, you would just sit there in neutral. There is no forward progress, there is no backward progress, and you would just sit still. The key is to not over complicate it though; your goals are really like a road map, they give you direction or a destination. This allows us to chart out a path to get to that destination. This “road map”, much like in traveling, gives us direction in life and keeps us focused. Without it we run the risk of being totally lost.
I recall hearing about a trainer who did an exercise with two sheet of paper. The trainer said, “Write your goal down on the first sheet of paper.” After writing down their goals, the participants were instructed to crumble it up and throw it. The participants asked, “Where?” The trainer again simply said, “Throw it.” As you can imagine paper was thrown all over the place. Then the trainer asked them to again write their goals on the second sheet and crumble it up. He then walked to the center of the room and placed a trashcan on the floor and said, “Now, put it in that trash can.” People began to get up and really focus on throwing their paper into the trashcan. He even offered a prize for those who made it so some even walked their paper over to the trashcan and dropped it in. The difference between the first and second paper is that with the second paper they had something to focus on, the trashcan. The trashcan, in this example, represents what goal setting is.
You have, hopefully, heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals. If not, you should for sure study up on them and the importance of this acronym. I will give you the basics here:
S – (Specific) You have to be specific about your goal. It needs be definable. Nothing is dynamic until it becomes specific. It is important to understand the difference between a “dream” and a “goal” here. For example, to say, “I wan to make a lot of money” is a great dream but not a goal. To say, “I want to make $500,000 this year” is a specific goal.
M – (Measurable) You have to have a way to keep score. Imagine a sporting event with no scoreboard? How would you know who is winning the game? The same applies to your goal, if you can’t measure it how will ever know if you have reached it or not?
A – (Attainable) You have to base this one on your own resources and level of commitment. If it requires 35 – 40 hours a week and you are only willing or able to commit 10 – 15 hours, it is not attainable for you.
R – (Realistic) This is the one you have to be careful with. If people set goals that were always “realistic” imagine the lack of advancements we would have in technology and everyday life. You also have to make sure your goals are realistic from the standpoint of the laws of the universe and physics. For example, if it was April and you wanted to move into a million dollar mansion (that you are going to fully customize) in June and you have not even bought the land yet, it is obviously not be physically realistic.
T – (Time) It must be time certain. Without a timestamp it is a dream, not a goal.
Stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon….
As I approach my 40th Birthday I started thinking about the things that were important to me. While it was difficult to do, I was able to pick out a Top 10 Things to Know and Do before you are 40. These are all simple and practical steps and truthfully can be applicable to any age. Here we go:
1. Know Yourself – When I say “Know Yourself” I am referring to your strengths and weaknesses. We all have them and just like fingerprints that vary for each one of us. Knowing your strengths will help yo to know where to focus your efforts and opportunities to excel. It will help you achieve your goals and attain personal satisfaction. On the other hand, knowing your weaknesses can be equally if not more beneficial. When you know your weakness and even more important, willing to admit your weaknesses, you have a foundation for growth. You can create a list of areas to spend as much time getting better at as you do on the things that come natural. You can also evaluate if the weakness is something you should avoid and allow others to accomplish.
2. Settle Your Family Life – This is mostly for the married couples but truthfully can exist with parents, children or any other relatives. Recognize issues that may exist, things that are lingering and unaddressed. It is important to get them out in the open and “handled”. One thing we are not promised in life is time and once someone is gone the opportunity to set things right goes as well, yet the guilt of not doing so can last forever. Relationships, especially marriages, require constant work and nurturing.
3. Determine Your Priorities – It is said that every seven years we change as people and everything from out tastes, likes & dislikes, ambitions and priorities. It is vital to keep track of your priorities, write them down and occasionally review them for any changes, additions or subtractions. This will help you keep focused on what is important and worth giving your time to.
4. Develop Your Philosophy – How do you define your life? What is your vision for your future? It is critical to know what you believe in, what/who you are willing to die for and what things in your life are optional. Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything”.
5. Get Physically Fit – As we get older and absorbed in our careers, goals, lives, etc. one of the areas we often overlook is our health. This has become a VITAL area for me over the past few years and a journey that in a short time has taught me more about myself than anything before it. Remember, don’t give up your “health” in an effort to gain “wealth”. A strong body leads to a strong mind which leads to a strong future.
6. Learn Your Trade – Always be a student of your trade. The day you think you cannot learn anything else about your trade is the day you need to get out of it. To be most successful at your trade; learn, earn and return. the biggest key is to remember to give back more than you receive.
7. Pay The Price – Success cannot be accomplished without sacrifice. You have heard it all, “Nothing in life is easy” “Anything worth having is worth working for” These and similar statements are profound and should not be taken lightly. Your “ah hah” moment with this one is when you realize and are willing to accept that you may sacrifice and not see success but trust that those who follow will reap the success of your sacrifice. Some would call it a characteristic of leadership.
8. Develop Solid Relationships – In the day and age of social media the word “friend” has a whole new meaning. Solid relationships are important because life’s greatest experiences involve people. I have had some of the best times of my life and created unforgettable memories with the guys I have developed solid relationships with, a brotherhood if you will. Take a moment and review your social media “friends”. How many do you have a solid relationship with?
9. Prepare For The Future – By nature we always want the biggest and best. This is very prevalent in the Event Industry. Often we are judged by the equipment we carry, the amount of lights we have, how many songs in our library, etc. While these things are vital to our craft, in the grand scheme of life how important are they? Consider living life in such a way that you have options later on when you have played that last song. Consider purchasing the “second best” and saving the difference for retirement.
10. Find Purpose In You Life – True success comes from knowing and executing your purpose in life. Never stop growing to your maximum potential and continue sewing seeds, even if only others down the line benefit from them.
The first Quarter of 2012 has already come to an end and no matter if you are 40, 20 or 60 do a self evaluation of these 10 things and see where you stand with them. You may find that you need to work on some and also be right where you need to be with others.
Remember…You’re either Green and Growing or Ripe and Rotting!!!
The “Science” and “Art” of Communication
Think of a bottle of wine. Sometimes you can have good wine in a bad bottle. You look at the bottle and it is not that impressive but it tastes wonderful. Sometimes you have a bottle that looks terrific but the wine inside is not so good. The goal in effective communication should be to have both substance and style.
Science is built on practices, rules and procedures while art is more of an inherent creative process. The best communicators will learn to combine the two. They will take the best of each and create an effective outcome. Science without art can make communication seem sterile while art without science can make communication very chaotic. Your goal should be to combine creativity with discipline to create the most favorable outcome.
Let’s look at some examples…
The perfect “right down the middle” would be the late Steve Jobs. People would hang on his every word. That was because he would always couple the good science of technology and products and talk about them in an informative, factual way with his own passion and enthusiasm about the design and end user effectiveness.
A good example of the Science right but the art wrong would be the prototypical college professor that goes on and on, for example the character that Ben Stein played in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. A great example of someone who disseminates the information and then strives for involvement, “Anyone, anyone, anyone?” This individual has the information down but has diminished the impact because of poor delivery and lack of creativity.
A good example of getting the Art right but the science wrong, are those who tend to be very passionate. You find yourself connecting with their enthusiasm but in the find yourself asking, “What was that all about?” You knew they felt strongly about something, you are just not sure what about.
So what is “Winning Communication”?
George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion it has been accomplished.” The potential for bad communication is of great. Especially in the fast paced word of the Internet, mobile devices and busy lives we lead. I remember some years ago my son, as we walked into a restaurant, read a sign on a chalkboard the read “Fish – All You Can Eat”. He looked at me and said, “Oh No! All you can eat is fish???” This is a perfect example of how, even just subtlety, misinterpreting communication one can come to the wrong conclusion.
Therefore, “Winning Communication” can be defined as being heard and understood. For “Winning Communication” to take place your message needs to not only be heard (or read) but the intended effect of that communication also needs to be achieved.
Keep in mind communication is in fact “response you get”. How effective you are communicating is more about what is “heard” than what is “said”. Often times we find ourselves saying, “But this is what I said” but if the person who responded didn’t “get it” then the responsibility of poor communication falls onto the person who said it.
Stay tuned for Part Two when I will share some of the wrong ways to avoid when communicating and the “C”s of communication.
The 5 Steps to More Efficient Learning
1. Repetition – read/watch the material until you gain:
2. Familiarity – when you become familiar with the subject matter, you will gain:
3. Confidence – once you’ve achieved confidence, you are prepared to take the appropriate:
4. Action – and action, my friends, yields:
5. Results -measure your results so that you may improve them, and then repeat the process!
When we learn more, we can DO more, accomplish more. Apply these simple steps and watch your business soar to new heights.
Exercise is one of the best tools to help combat depression. Leading an active, physical lifestyle will help you to alleviate stress and increase your endorphin levels. The next time you feel sad, instead of wallowing in your depression, or engaging in negative activities like drinking alcohol or overeating, try going for a nice long walk or bike ride, and you will be amazed at how much better you feel.
I have made it my goal to help the Mobile DJ and Event Industry lose 1,000 pounds, including myself!
Several people have commented saying, “You don’t look like I need to lose weight”. Now, while I want to believe that most of the people who said that were only being nice, the fact of the matter is that I have worked hard for several years now trying to hide the truth about my weight.
Knowing that 40 is only a few years around the corner I have come to realize that if I don’t do something about my health and weight I will not be around to enjoy seeing my children get married or holding a grandchild in my arms. I won’t be able to live out the “golden years” I work so hard on now to have.
The first step is to overcome the fear of public criticism and admit I have a problem that needs to be fixed. I have decided to put together series of radical advertisements in hopes to accomplish 2 things:
1. To expose my weight issues to the world in a tactful and respectful way so that others will see that I truly do have some issues to work on. I do not in anyway want to offend anyone and will not say something about another person that I can’t say about myself.
2. To be a leader to others who may be in my very same position I am in and feel like they are alone.
The truth is you are not alone. 1 out of every 3 Mobile DJs is overweight or obese. The statistics are not too much better in the Event Industry as a whole. I hope that by taking the first step others will join me so that we can support and encourage one another to achieve our individual and collective goals together. Just by adding two or three people to your challenge will help you be accountable and increases your odds of success beyond belief.
I want to thank those who have already joined me and welcome any others that would like to be a part of the team. I can promise respect, love and support to every member of this team. Failure will not be an option and we will have a blast together!
Are you ready to join us?
Join The Challenge
Photo Updated 3/1/2012
*Results will vary.